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We came with different motives
And now that we are at the crux of our lives
It is time to let the core of it unfold
As I feel the seaward gale swiping, cold
There is no absolute in day-to-day harshness
There is no hard and fast rules between you and me
And we shall feel the end of it once we thread our way through valley of despair
How blind and remote we are
We came with different motives
But the contradictions were not unbridgeable
We would have missed the comfort of our lies
How blind and remote we are
We've drawn our cold and mighty swords
Eager for blood and retaliation
But we were already dying away
For resentment is love in its blackest day
Cutting the chain of the anchor
Drifting miles and miles away
Then scuttling the ship, standing firm
On the deck, alone.
I watched the sunset with worn out eyes
Because of thousands years of no compromise
I will suffer for my vengeance, I will suffer for my crimes
When the red dies out, I will be just fine.
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It has nothing to do with my name
Nothing to do with some sort of fate
A self-fulfilling prophecy
written by my own hand
It came as a self-appointment
To my new martyr's life
Drenched in silence
This is my devotion
I ended up in hell without a trial
And tonight, waves are fighting with bare teeth
« Fight hard and never give in,
because they are not giving in either
These revolving agents of oblivion! »
« Mind your parish, your sheep and their perdition! »
I am not the chosen one
I am not the chosen one
I would make it an altar
painted in white and blue
for the lost flocks, but above all, for you.
I thought that the flicker of my candle
At the end of these weak arms of mine
Could save and redeem the world
I thought that the wax dripping on my hand
wouldn't hurt, but it weighed me down.
« Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
Oh Lord, you never gave me the chance to feel anything like the heartbeat throbbing from the deep bottom of the ocean Oh Lord, there was never such thing as a second chance, only hints of what I've missed, as many hammer blows,
as many crushed nails, as many torn sails...
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But tonight I stand
Offering my bruised chest, my spilling guts
While we're all running scared
For the floe where we were giving birth.
We are, all of us, Jobs
Though never restored, no, never restored to prosperity
We have feared to lose and we have lost
We have slain every prophets of misfortune
And you bathed in their blood, you bathed in their blood
It was never meant to work
Sometimes what we've built contrives its own demise
And from this stove boat of mine
Should I make it over to a raft to escape?
Or should I build a barricade?
For everybody gave up
For you don't swim but sink with leaden hearts
We sunk with lures and soft promises
We sunk for a never-coming haven
I've severed every vessels, an entire fleet,
of black bile
But the spring seems unfailing
But the fight is biased against this royal
and never-ending affront.
Tonight I stand
Introducing my rough hands, my barren lands
To you
You will never cure, you will never heal
And before you, god of plight, I will never kneel
I will rest undeceived
With my secret grieves untold for sole companions
Overwhelmed with remote notions of what
life should have been
I owe you nothing, I owe you nothing, I owe you nothing
You drained me away
But we still waltz, but we still waltz, but we still waltz
Till the disgraced dawns burn our eyes.
Carry on, carry on, I shall ever carry on
Among gravel and stones
We have to struggle and make it home
But carry on, carry on, I shall carry on
For the few lessons I will have to learn,
the most bitter will be to die alone.
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The eyes of empathy are turning into disillusion
Because the merest exertion, the lone reckless victories
Can't ever be understood, I'm too far from the shore
And you're way too far from me, you're way too far from me
Remember, remember
To every bad there is a worse
It has always been an option
See, our fears were not based on nothing
I had to fight and to sacrifice
While all these tentacles you had to exorcise
And I kept pretending on this raft so poorly made
But you can't blame me,
No you can't blame me for not having stayed
And I tried, I tried
Even if it was the best way to fail
I tried, I swear I tried...
And I tried, I tried
Even if in the end, there was no one to hail
I tried, I swear I tried...
You are my wound and my life
You are the knife waiting close to my heart
You are the reason why
You are my wound and my life
You are my wound and my life
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released December 1, 2011
